butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
