dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
