Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
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