The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
