Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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