That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
