Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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