I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
