I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
