That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
