I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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