My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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