3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize