At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize