Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
