dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
