Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
