a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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