Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
