thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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