just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
