I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize