think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
