sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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