we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
