you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
