My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
