my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
