I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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