Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
