so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
