SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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