I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
