why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
