It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
