Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Do vagina's smell?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
