We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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