i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
