he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
