You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
