I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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