Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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