If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I didn't notice because vodka
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
