Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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