Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
