my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
