So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize