would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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