i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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