I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
