he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
