It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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