It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
