Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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