she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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