Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
