i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
