Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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