if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
