i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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